Undeniable Equation

P 6,500 application fee.

10-fold requirements.

5 hours waiting in line.

2 instant passport pictures.

1 short, abruptly ended interview.

0 U.S. Visa.

Yup, my U.S. Visa application got denied. I still haven't had the faintest idea why, though it struck me that the interviewer kept on mentioning that i planned to migrate to the states. I wonder why.

BUt surprisingly, am taking this lightly. Maybe because when things go wrong, i know that they will be blessings in disguise. Luck can be so playful at times indeed.

Let's look at the bright side: i wouldn't have to spend thousands of dollars for my initially planned three weeks stay at my friend's place in Michigan. That's a whole lot of savings for me. Plus i don't have to worry anymore about how to tell my client's that i can be reached instead at around 12MN (Philippine Time) for the next 21 days. haha.

See, it ain't that bad. Really.

I just hope whatever comes my way next will be better.

A Canadian Visa perhaps? haha.

Sentiments

Now, i feel empty. It just struck me.

You are no longer here. 

You chose to be alone when i wanted to reach out and help you ease the pain of what you're going through.

You chose to shed tears behind my back not wanting to worry me more. Nonetheless, seeing you by yourself hurt even more.

You chose to drift away, thinking that it would do us wonders and allow us to grow on our own.

            But how can that be when i spent the last 19 months nurturing a love which i thought was worth all the pain and tears?

How can you let go that easily when you were the one who told me that you will never trade me for anyone else in this world?

That you would search for me no matter where it takes you just to have me in your arms for always?

That you will love me not for the rest of my life, but for the rest of yours?

That you will always be mine?

Yes, I am hurting. Crying my heart out till it hurts so much. 

Perhaps the pain will eventually make me numb, unmindful of the uncertainty that faces me.

I told you i perfectly understood your reasons.

I had to fool myself into thinking such.

I merely wanted to please you. To give you what you wanted. Simply because i felt that would be the best way to show my love...to let go amid the pain.

To smile underneath my tears and try to look and sound ok.

   

To simply make things easier for you...even if it kills me in the process.

But worry not, for i am taking time to grieve.

Maybe someday we will both heal.

Maybe someday our paths will cross again.

But the big question is...will our hearts still be beating then?

Or will have they perished longing for the once seemingly perfect love they kept alive.

Longing 

for that never ending promise made atop the Grotto at Baguio, for all the 252 steps to witness.

Longing 

for having to call someone Mine again.

But until that happens, i will just try to move on with my life normally. Take time to cry once in a while perhaps. Or smile at the fond memories you've left behind.

Yes, I'm keeping the ring you gave me. 

For perhaps, that's the one thing that will keep our love alive in my mind and heart. 

And that's more than enough for me.

To help me look at tomorrow in a different light.

And realize that something good will arise from all these. 

With this in mind, there can never be sad goodbyes.

Only happy beginnings. 

As the song goes: 

" This time we'll be sweeter."

Recognizing Hope

Minutes before my next meeting, i just stumbled upon an excerpt which immediately caught my attention. It was actually posted by a Nurse friend of mine who works in one of the local hospitals in Manila. Having been assigned in the Emergency Room, time and again, he has witnessed death come and go. He has seen people lose hope and turn their backs away from their faith.

Why am i telling all these? Simply because recently, i felt the same way. 

With the overwhelming presence of stress in my work brought about by the 

new boss of one of my clients (believe me guys, she's quite hard to work with, in every sense of the word), i felt that the world has crumbled underneath my feet.

I even cried in the process of trying to resolve what i may have done wrong. But after much soul searching, i figured out that there must be a deeper purpose with the hardships i was experiencing.

But rather than losing hope, i began to pray anew. 

And admittedly, now, i feel better. 

I may not have a better relationship with this new person anytime soon ( none of my staff members even want to talk to her), but at least now, i feel that i'm not alone. That everything happens for a reason. 

That once again, i would be able to rise above this challenge and realize his purpose.

I guess, due to my tight schedule, i have forgotten to be thankful about the little

 blessings i get every now and then.

That's not the way to look at the big picture. 

And a while ago, as i was mentally organizing my thoughts regarding the busy schedule i have during the next few days, i came upon this story:

A child was born to Anti-Christ parents who never did introduce him to the concept of God. During his formative years, he remained oblivious to who Jesus Christ was. 

One day, his parents were both killed in front of him. Stricken with grief, he was taken in by a concerned neighbor who then treated him like her own son. The woman was Catholic so she put him in a Catholic school.

One day, during his class, the boy's teacher held out a picture of Jesus and ask:

"Who among you kids know this person?"

The little boy answered, much to the amazement of everyone in the room who knew about the boy's tragic past:

"He was the man holding me when my Mom and Dad died."

And that line sent shivers shooting down my spine. 

Maybe because i focused too hard on what i felt was lacking, that i forgot that i wasn't exactly alone.

And now, after reading that story, am better.

I even prayed that i get to have a better relationship with this new boss. 

Yes, am quite optimistic. I've always believed in signs.

And maybe, this was His way of telling me that things will be ok.

Confessions of a SHOEpaholic: Crocs Crazy

Since i got my first pair (my favorite one to be exact), i instantaneously got hooked on Crocs. 

Fashionable and comfortable indeed. 

Before getting my first pair ( a bright yellow one), i used to think that Crocs slip ons were very pricey, considering that they were merely made of cloth and rubber. But my thoughts proved me wrong once i had a chance to try out a pair in trinoma. 

Lo and behold, i immediately discovered how Cinderella must have felt when the shoe fit to a T. 

Note that with its light-weight composition and comfortable cushion, it actually felt like the actual shoe was barely there! 

Imagine the look of the sales person when i immediately took out cash from my wallet 

and asked the pair to be wrapped up immediately.

Not wanting to lose time, i proceeded to put my new pair into good use: wore it to work, school and all other occasions i can think of ( even when working out in the gym, if i could get away with it). 

Yup, it has withstood the test of time and effort. haha.

 After a month, i got my next pair: a Wasabi colored one to match my travel bag sporting the same shade. And just like before, it did not disappoint me. 

However, i felt that the yellow and green ones which i had were 

seemingly similar. I thought of getting new pairs but had to stop myself after seeing that they were basically made in China...this was prior to my trip to Macau.

And as if it was meant to be, I came across a Crocs store in Senado Square in Macau.

I could not believe the huge assortment of shoes they had there. I saw various styles which where not yet available in the Philippines. 

Without wasting any time, i grabbed 4 pairs (chili, blue, black and chocolate) and paid for them on the spot. The surprised look on my Mom's face turned into a pleased one after telling her that i saved around P 1,000 on each pair (compared to the prices here). Not a bad deal indeed.

Plus, i got a nice looking limited edition Crocs Holga Camera with my bulk purchase.  To date, i haven't really used it yet...saving it for the perfect occasion e.g. my next trip, 

wherever it might take me. 

I now have 6 pairs of Crocs which i can wear alternately daily, without having to worry about getting callouses or any foot problem in the process. 

And now, as i prepare to go malling, am actually thinking of getting yet another pair. But i have yet to decide on what color (regret still overwhelms me for not purchasing the white pair in Macau) to buy. Worry not though, i have a gift certificate worth P1,000 -- thus making my purchase seemingly justifiable.

 Yeah i know, bear with me. 

Another addiction i have... similar to my love for coffee.

Sexy Indulgence

I haven't posted my New year's resolutions here for fear that i may not be able to observe them e.g. be nicer to all new people i meet. But what i can share though is part of it: the one related to my diet.

I quote:

" I will work out thrice a week, follow my trainer and eat healthy food."

With the exception of the 2 12oz cups of Dairy Queen Chocolate Dipped Strawberry Blizzards i had over the last 7 days, i think i am able to follow this resolution well. 

I try to be health conscious ever since for vanity purposes but now, as i age (not that am turning close to a hundred or something), i try to maintain a fit lifestyle to avoid further complications which may arise from my daily routine e.g. work, coffee, work, coffee...and more work, which makes it highly stressful.

While diligently observing my resolution (hoping to have the body to die for by summer, which gives me less than 3 months to be precise), i came across the small stall of the Sexy Chef

 (thesexychefcafe.com) at Gold's Gym Galleria, after my workout this morning.

I actually saw their flyer which advertised their Fit Meals, which featured 8 sumptuous dishes cooked healthily. When i say this i mean that they used canola oil and the leanest meat pieces plus brown rice in each and every meal. A vegetable side dish compliments the hearty serving.

At P140 each, i thought it was worth a try. 

After stopping myself from grabbing a Venti Iced White Chocolate Mocha at Starbucks, I mustered enough courage to buy me two meals (for breakfast and dinner, which i ate at 4pm this afternoon because i could no longer stop myself).

I got the Fish Salpicao with mixed vegetables and the Korean Beef with Sesame KangKong. Starving dearly after working out, i immediately gorged on the Fish Salpicao. At first I was apprehensive because i actually saw a lot of wheat skins in the brown rice (talk about fiber content) and the almost raw looking veggies, but when i finally sampled them...

Voila.

I was in gastronomic heaven.

Believe me, each peso i spent for the meal was worth it.

Not only that, it actually made me feel full longer. I had a quick lunch around 1pm (consisting of mangoes and papaya slices...told you i was eating healthy)...note that i had my breakfast at 9am. 

After my last meeting for the day (4pm), i immediately reheated my korean beef

 meal. I was able to take a picture before i indulged in yet another healthy feast. The utensils are mine by the way.

Tomorrow, after being so happy with the Sexy 8 Fit meals i had, i ordered a new pair: Chicken Terriyaki and Sauteed beans and Tausi Fish Fillet with KangKong. 

I hope they're both as good as the ones i had today.

I wonder....how much weight will i lose if i do this for a whole week. 

i'd let you know after this experiment of mine.

Right now, i'd rather savor this rather delicious moment with my new found favorite meals. 

My trainer (who is trying to kill me with all the hard heart thumping routines he's giving me nowadays) will be so proud knowing that i actually skipped my favorite sweet desserts in favor of those Fit Meals. 

But then again, perhaps after a week, I will treat myself to yet another Chocolate dipped Strawberry Blizzard. 

A big Perhaps.

Spam Jam

Yup. They jam my email.

Don't you just hate spam mails?

For some reasons, i get alot of them no matter how hard i try to block them (believe me, i've tried all possible means to do so).

Could they be...immortal?

Geez. perish 

the thought.

When i opened my email this morning, i got 68 emails. After viewing them all, i counted 46 spam mails. Waste of space!

As of press time, i have yet to discover an effective way to get rid of them. 

Suggestions are most welcomed. 

Afterall, am tired of reading emails about winning the jackpot in a lottery in Ireland to the most effective device to increase the size of my manhood in just 3 days (ooops!).

I hope there's death penalty for spammers.

I will definitely support that cause.

Via Spam Mail.

Work Mode: On

Today is officially the last day of the long vacation given to us by our dear president (one of the few things i have appreciated during her term, if i may ad).

Tomorrow marks yet a new day..filled with hope and joy...and much stress.

For tomorrow marks the resume of work.

Admittedly, i had a grand time with the long vacation i had. i got to travel, meet old and new friends, get to do the things i've always wanted to do e.g. create a new blog, fix my stuffs etc. and of course bond with my loved ones.

Apart from doing grocery later (i have developed a certain fondness for this retail therapy substitute to shopping for clothes), i intend to start with whatever 

pending work i have shelved during the holidays. 

It's quite funny how i purposely evaded opening my office email during the last few days, hoping to get my mind off work. But lo and behold, some of my dear clients, on that fateful day of January 2, 2009, have began texting me to set meetings on January 5. So much for bursting my vacation bubble.

Nontheless, a part of me also longs to go back to work. Perhaps because i miss my staff (whoa, a burger for this, please!). Or simply because i am a workaholic: my body yearns for the painful demands of work daily. My masochistic pleasure indeed.

 Haha.

Writing this blog is actually an effort to switch on my work mode, as i juggle between expressing my thoughts,  doing my regular project status reports and flying back and forth to Lala land. 

But come to think of it, a few hours after, i'll be done with everything. 

And tomorrow, my masochistic side surfaces once more.

To reign in yet another year, filled with raves and rants...all about work.

As the head of the Imps. 

Unmasking my Collection

More than a year ago, while on a trip to Baguio, i came across colorful Venetian masks in Mines View Park.  I being the color-loving person that i was, immediately fell in love with them. Without thinking, i immediately got 3 and displayed them in my office. 

Happy with the good reviews, i went back to Baguio and purchased more. 

I became addicted to them ever since.

There's something about these colorful, intricately-designed pieces that makes me happy whenever i see them. 

Perhaps am just appreciative towards the amount of creativity and work put in each and every piece. 

Or maybe perhaps of my belief that all people wear masks. that it really takes time to get to know someone and discover the real person behind each colorful mask.

To each his own. 

Anyway, going back to my story. I was visiting a trade fair in Megamall and i came across a but selling venetian masks similar to the those i had.

i immediately approached the said booth and inquired regarding their products. Lo and behold, they were the ones who supplied masks to the store i visited in Baguio! 

I silently cursed the owner of the stall in Baguio which sold the masks at triple its original price. Not to mention that she claimed she made them by herself. So much for taking credit.

Mentally i made some computations and arrived at a conclusion that i can save much by purchasing right then and there. 

I immediately put on my "sweet mask" and charmed my way in convincing the owner about my passion for her products. I won her over by showing her the pics of the masks i had in my phone ( thank God for camera phones!) and inviting her over to see them.

She did come over the following day and was really amazed with the ones i had (they were the best ones in the group then). 

What's even better was that she actually brought several pieces and sold them to me at very low prices. Not to mention she gave me a little mask freebie.

You might ask what i'll be doing with these? 

well i can think of several:

a.) Use them as props in events (Venetian Ball inspired ones are popular)

b.) Utilize them as conversation pieces when entertaining people

c.) Wear them when i have nothing to do or feeling blue (i have yet to try this out)

d.) Use them as inspiration whenever i experience a creative black out.

i know in due time i will be able to discover more uses for my beloved pieces. 

But now, am just happy having them near. :)

Feel free to see some of my precious finds.:) I would have wanted to attached more pictures but i have to go in a while to do some serious shopping before reporting to work on monday. Geez.

Misadventures in Macau

It was damn cold.

That was the first impression i had of Macau when i first went there last December 23 to celebrate Christmas with my loved ones. 

Maybe because itwas winter time. Of which i wasn't quite aware of (i have yet to experience real snow... that's why am saving for my trip to the Alps). 

Thus, armed with my fur jacket

 (for vanity purposes) and my pair of ever dependable yellow crocs (which have turned seemingly beige from all that walking), i braved through the cold breeze of Macau. 

Mind you that i wasn't acting when this picture was taken. 

Please note of the thick winter outfits of the people in the backgr

ound while i freeze to death. 

I know, i know. you might be looking for other juicy details so i might as well start off with the basic ones before i get to engrossed in my ranting about being frost-bitten. Lesson learned: trust the online weather forecast and dress the part. Or suffer with a bad case of cold and numb fingers and legs (based on experience).

How to get there:

As usual, i booked our flight at Cebu Pacific. I kinda figured out that i didn't really have to eat in the plane since it was

merely a two hour flight and it was scheduled right after

dinner. So with those in mind, i managed to save around 4k per head by choosing the said flight (compared to PAL's peak

 season rate which really soared sky high). Note though 

that i booked 3 months in advance so it cost me around P18k per head, round trip. Regular rates of the season costed around P24k per head. The said prices were not inclusive of the P1650 travel tax and the boarding fee of P750. Those are on a per person basis. 

Basic knowledge that you bring US dollars with you so you won't have any problems with regards to changing bills. But based on experience, upon inquiry, our very own peso will go a long way in macau. One pataca is equivalent to P .14 or USD 7. The cost of living in Macau isn't that pricey relative to Hong Kong's. But of course if you will indulge in gambling and experience luxury at its finest at the Venetian, this thought won't be applicable. 

From the airport, one can take the cab (around P500) or the bus (around 4.50 patacas)going to your hotel. We were lucky that we had our hotel arrange our transfers so it means 0 expense for me. 

Where to stay:

We opted to stay in Metropole Hotel. It was strategically located at the heart of the city, very near the Senado Square, the haven of tourists. It was also a stone's throw away from New Yohan (department store) and the various Casinos and tourist spots (I kinda noticed that everything seems walking distance from our place. Macau indeed is a small island). 

A night in a twin sharing room costs around 1080 pataca (roughly P8k something). The room was clean and had a fabulous bathroom (minus the bathtub). The said package comes with a buffet breakfast (worth 40 patacas), which include overflowing coffee (heaven for me) and a variety of chinese and western dishes. i particularly loved the chinese sausages and the porridge which tastes good with sea weeds. 

Where to Go:

The Senado Square is a haven for tourists indeed, where the best value for money shops and where everything that's uniquely Macau can be found. Think Beef Jerky (delicious beef dried beef strips which are best if spicy). Or great souvenirs. Think designer brands and great sales.  

Apart from those, you may also enjoy having your pictures taken at the beautiful set-up within the area, while admiring the quirky fashion tastes of the people around. I myself had a grand time exploring this area, where i got 4 (yup, you read it right) pairs of my favorite croc sta.cruz sandals (all original). I got the common blue and black one and two other fabulous colors which are not yet available here locally: chili and chocolate. After seeing the huge savings i can have and the cute holga cam that comes with my purchase, i decided to go for it. And i realized it was all worth it. I had one regret though: i should have bought the white pair though. I was quite hesitant at first because i might look like a nurse (no offense meant), but when i realized that it wasn't even available here after checking the local stores, a 5th pair didn't seem that bad. 

The ruins of St. Paul was quite a sight to behold. Magnificent indeed. Mind you though that you have to brave the swarm of tourists having their pictures taken at the site. The Macau tower was equally breathtaking, together with the other ancient temples around the area. Various museums also surrounded the place so incase you want to unleash the culture vulture within you, feel free to choose where. 

Of course if you want to try out the famous casinos which Macau is known for like the Grand Lisboa and the Sands casino, be ready to spend a few hundred to a thousand patacas to satisfy your gambling cravings. Otherwise, if you're more of a shopper like moi, settle for a nice souvenir picture instead and spend all your pataca on great finds. 

What to Buy:

You must definitely try the egg tarts and the beef jerky sold near the ruins. Note that these are sealed well so you can be sure that you don't get tummy aches afterwards. The egg tarts

 cost around 7 patacas each. Each is made with a deliciously thin crust with egg fillings that's not sickeningly sweet. The beff jerky costs around 49 pataca per pound. A pound is good enough for around 4 people for sharing. Cap off this wonderful gastronomic experience with a cold milk teawhich costs around 10 patacas. Or if you're still hungry, try grabbing a pork burger. It's a heavy duty porkchop in a bun sold for 15 patacas. I had one and that became my lunch. Oh and for dessert, you might want to try out the serradura: ice cream cake that melts in your mouth. It costs around 7 patacas for a slice. Enough to satisfy your sweet cravings. 

Apart from food, you might want to check out the souvenirs as well. I got fancy looking watches and ref magnets. But my favorite finds were my pair of lucky cocks. Now before you raise your eyebrows, these are wooden roosters in vibrant colors with the word portugal on them (macau used to be a portuguese colony, before it was returned to China in 2003). Other than those, being the coffee addict i was, i also tried out the coffee at Starbucks. They

 didn't serve my favorite white mocha so i opted for a latte. Not bad. What got me excited was the pair of Starbucks shot mugs with Macau and China written on them. Quite a fancy pair of souvenirs. 

I also got myself an antique bubble clock and a replica of St. Paul's ruins. Nice additions to my collection indeed.  Of course i didn't fail to get myself a Macau shirt which costed me 25 patacas. I got a red one to match my chili crocs. 

Tip: Never buy from your tour guide. Since we went on a tour, my mom, together with other tourists, fell for the guide's over priced good. The Macau watch they bought for 100 patacas, i got for 25 patacas in one of the shops in the flea market. Yup, my shopper instincts worked well for me. 

Where to shop:

As i've said, the Senado Square offers a lot of good stores with great finds for tourists. Walk around the area and you'll find branded goods sold for less (relatively cheaper compared to prices here). Try also visiting New Yohann. You might find a thing or two which you may like. Gadgets are prize find here. If you're more of the adventurous type like myself, go ride a bus then get off at Taipa, where you'll experience shopping Nirvana at the flea market. I wanted to buy a lot of stuffs there but what worried me was my bad experience at the local customs during my Hong Kong trip. 

For cat lovers, you may also want to visit the Meow space, which sells all goods dedicated to felines. The whole strip leading to various casinos are also lined up with high-end stores like CK, Cartier and the like for all your extravagant shopping needs. 

The people:

You wouldn't believe how difficult the language barrier was. Twice i was served boiling water for breakfast instead of iced drinks. I had to do immense sign language accompanied by weird sounds to get my point across.  Locals were very hyperactive, with voices several decibels louder than usual. I wanted to tell them that i couldn't understand their language but i wasn't deaf...but then again, no point in arguing. But most of them were really nice. I managed to survive all four days by just asking around and playing charades with them.

Overall Experience:

The cold weather didn't stand in the way. I had a great time in Macau, and it would have been better if i had more money to spend gambling (it wouldn't hurt to try...am just curious). And i must say: the all the hottest finds in one huge island hub: Macau. 

A new journey

Finally i have mustered enough will power to transfer to blogger.com after keeping my friendster blog alive for more than 5 years. 

main reason: i wanted to attach photos in my write ups ( a frequent request among my dear readers...so see recent photo above during my trip to Macau last Christmas).

secondary reason: fresh start perhaps. new year, new blog. 

so there. 

well about the title, it basically talks about all my misadventures, from my travels to little things that matter to me. But then again, let me warn you though that this blog is filled with my personal bias, which may not be suitable for the young...even general audience. haha. 

So i leave it to you if you want to join me in my personal journey filled with sense and senseless rants and raves. 

Load up for battle reader. A new word warrior officially goes on prowl.